I wrote this a while back though it'd be cool to have on this blog... there are others like this at: http://insightinconfusion.blogspot.com/



Mother is it you I should cry to?
Are you the one to collect my tears or wipe them from my face?
I’m not so sure anymore
You listen with fake hollow ears allowing my story to pass through the earwax,
You only spur airs of agitation and screeching vocals of
blazing anger and judgment,
Mother why do you walk away from me?
Mother why do you want me to leave?
You push and shove,
ripping shirts from skin,
tearing down faux wooden doors,
and cracking glass trapping thin slivers between plated glass.
You scream, scratch, and kick
causing ears to pop,
fingers to bleed unfamiliar blood,
and questions to plague the ears like acid rain to a shriveled oak.
Why mother do you want me gone?
Nights are left in worn out “I love you”s,
like bleached and faded jeans
no one wants to wear
Or end in arguments as loud as motorcycle growls
With hits like bricks strangling boulders
You say you don’t want it to be this way
But you’ll take no blame
Mother why will you never apologize for the scars that don’t fade,
For the bruises feeding on tissue beneath my flesh.
I’m afraid to break down the steel bricked wall between us
Frightened like the child who used to pray at night for mommy
not to break pass her wedged dresser holding the door shut
so she’d be able to sleep without fear that mommy would sneak in her room
once more and wake her from her sleep with straddled slaps and punches
that would later be forgotten by an unstable mind.
I trust so easily but
Mother I can no longer tell whether your affection is from obligation or heart
Mother how do I know what real?
Mother please stop yelling,
My ears are ringing.
Mother please stop hitting,
The cuts in my flesh are stinging,
And the red marks wont disappear.
What will I tell the teachers now?
What can I say?
Mother please stop hating me,
Salted tears are choking me.
I can’t breathe
Mother why must it be this way every night?
This one worse than most
Mother why wont you let me talk
Is it because it’s true?
Or because you think it’s a lie
Mother why is it always like this when daddy leaves?
Why is it then you show your true form?
Did you permanently change your mask of sun and sugar to a mask of
bladed metal and vodka shot in a pitch-black night?
When daddy took his three month lover’s vacation with a
Hillbilly woman from the south,
Is it then you became angry?
Mother I remember when I was younger and I wanted to run away to a place of my own ‘til realized
a capitalist man would condemn a small penniless child
Mother I remember not wanting to leave because I’d miss my family too much
But now I can’t remember why
Mother when did mommy become mom and mom become mother?
I still don’t know
I can’t remember a date
Was that when I burned my third journal to a crisp or the fourth?
I hated the weak, vulnerable girl between the pages.
I can’t remember a feeling
Was that when pain bounced from my skin creating bruises without pain?
Mother it’s become a routine I just want it to end
Mother I want to stop screaming
Mother I want to stop fighting
Mother I want to stop shaking
Mother I want to stop crying
Mother I want to stop the cycle
But I don’t know how
Mother I want to stop hating
What should I do?
Mommy can I have a tissue please?
I’m sick from crying
I just want to sleep
Sleep forever in a mindless thoughtless dream


Any thoughts?

Hi everyone! I'm just getting started on Datingish... Drop me a comment if you've got some ideas on what to do first - or just to say, "Hi!"